I cannot tell you that my online dating experience has been successful. That does not mean, however, that it isn't possible to find someone in this venue, it simply means that I have not been so fortunate. I have come to the conclusion that if someone is going to realize the best possible outcome, and meet someone who lives up to their expectations, they have to go in with a little bit of knowledge, and put their blinders on for the rest. It's too bad that you don't have to take some sort of a tutorial first, before submitting your profile on one of the plethora of online dating sites out there. Perhaps if one was available, it would take some of the frustration out of the whole experience, and save those who are on it from wasting their time. With that being said, I am willing to share some of the pratfalls and pitfalls I have commonly ran into during my quest for finding Mr. Pretty Okay. If I can help but one person, my job here will be done.
Let's start with the basic statistics that the individual lists on their profile. This is the typical format for the first part:
About
Me Non-smoker/average body type
Details 53 year old man, 5'9, Non-Religious
Intent Looking for a Relationship
Personality Adventurer
**This is not an actual profile of anyone living or dead. Any similarities between this profile and any actual profile are purely coincidental. Please don't freak out, because it isn't yours--I swear!**
Okay, this looks pretty promising so far--we have a non-smoker (always a plus for some of us), and he is telling us he falls within the range of not being too thin, and not being overweight. He is taller than me by a couple of inches, so I can wear a bit of a heel should we go somewhere they have wine with a cork and not a screw-on cap. He is right within my age parameter, but, uh-oh....he's non-religious. Well you know something? How many people are really religious, anyway? Don't go getting your knickers in a twist just yet over that one. He isn't saying he doesn't believe in God, he is likely to be saying he doesn't go to church every Sunday. However, we cannot completely rule out an Atheist at this point, so give him the benefit of a doubt until proven otherwise if and when a conversation between the two of you actually happens.
All right! He's looking for a relationship. So, as far as you know now, he's looking for something serious. Of course, his idea of a relationship and your idea of one may be entirely different, but again, this is something you will be able to pull out of him later if you actually talk to him.
His personality is that of an Adventurer. Now, see, here is where we can be led astray into the valley of disappointment, because when I read "adventurer", I get this mental picture:
When, in fact, Mr. Pretty Okay's idea of adventure may be this:
Point being, you may be disappointed on this one. I'm not saying that will be the case, but just keep this in the back of your mind, will you?
Okay, on to the second part of his information disclosure.
City Your City
Ethnicity Caucasian
Education PhD, Post Doctoral
Profession Medical
Now let's see what we have to go on here with Mr. Pretty Okay.
How about that! He's right here in your city! No Google Maps, no driving great distances only to be disappointed, he's practically in your backyard! This is pretty promising so far, isn't it? He's Caucasian---if that's what you're looking for, if not, well too bad, because there's nothing that can be done about that one. Shut the front door! He's got a PhD! You know what that means, don't you? He's probably pretty smart (hopefully not TOO smart, though). And, look, this just keeps getting better and better, doesn't it? He's in the medical profession. Now, we can put two and two together right here and now and assume this fella is a DOCTOR. You may want to start doodling on paper right now how this looks in your prettiest handwriting, Dr. and Mrs. HootieHoo request the honour of your presence at the marriage of their daughter.....
Okay, wake the hell up and stop that! Again, never assume anything at this point and let us not get ahead of ourselves and set the wheels in motion for disappointment. Remember, you still haven't read his profile, yet.
Let's back this up. We left out the picture, didn't we? Well, that IS kind of important, after all..... Okay, before we read any further, let's take a minute to drink in what Mr. Pretty Okay looks like, shall we?
Damn, I say DAMN,woman! Isn't that...........I think that's....why, that's George Flippin' Clooney! Well, that can't be right....George Clooney certainly isn't desperate enough to resort to online dating, is he? Now you have an idea how you can just fritter away twenty minutes of your life you'll never get back. This actually happens quite frequently with posers on these sites. I personally have never ran into a profile where someone actually thought women were so gullible not to recognize George Clooney as the profile picture, but I was sucked in to one where the lesser-known, but equally hot Rob Thomas was. You have two choices here, you can either play along, have some fun, and be part of the joke, or you can block this idiot and bail. Next!!!!
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